Thursday, September 11, 2014

2 Samuel: 

 2He said:
“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
3my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—
from violent people you save me

I sit here this morning with a heavy heart, thinking back to the dreadful day.   9/11/01.   I remember it as though it was yesterday.   While I don't know anyone personally that was a victim of tragic day, my heart still breaks.  I think about those that were supposed to be heading to work that morning and for some reason got delayed or didn't go.  I think about those that weren't supposed to be there that day, but for some reason or another were.  I think about those survivors.  I think about those that lost their lives.  I think about families and how those events must affect their families.

I believe that there also has to be some good that came out of that day.  What that good is, I'm not sure.  Maybe it's a father who realized that spending time at their child's baseball game, dance recital, or band concert was more important than the after work drinks with clients.   Maybe it was a mother who realized that sitting around a kitchen table for dinner was more important that the long office hours she had been putting in.  Maybe it was the daughter, son, friend that decided to take a moment out of the day to call someone on their heart, "just because".

  Forgiveness.....   These are things that I think about today.

I pray for everyone affected by 9/11 either directly or indirectly.  Let us never forget.


Friday, May 9, 2014

God's endless mercy

We were settled in for the night this past Wednesday night.  Then my husband's phone rang. It was 10:20 p.m. but, a local number, so I had him answer it.  He sat on the edge of the bed and then I heard him say "he's not had one in 6 years"  My heart sank, I didn't have to hear anymore.   My 14 year old son was in Savannah for his 8th grade field trip and had just had a seizure in his hotel room.  My husband handed me the phone because you know us mamas, we've got to get the details for ourselves.  I talked to the teacher and the paramedics and ultimately to my son.  He does not remember talking to me, but I at least heard his voice and that helped on the long 4 hour drive we were about to have to Savannah.

On the way, the teachers were in constant contact with us.  The pediatric ER physician called and told me he looked great and what the plan was and to please take our time and drive safely.  My son's middle school principle called us to make sure we were  O.K. and to tell us he was in prayer for Ethan and us.

But, in the midst of all of this God has endless mercy for us.  He is faithful to us.  He never fails us.  His love is never ending.  It is so apparent in the way in which this whole scenario played out.   For some reason my husband had taken a vacation day for Thursday.  We had some things we wanted to do and I had a couple of things I needed to do.  I had taken myself off call from my job because of the things I "had to do".    We had gone to exercise earlier that day and decided to get a iced coffee.  While we were getting coffee we noticed that a new gas station had just opened up.  For some reason, on a Wednesday, something we would normally NEVER do, we gassed up the van not knowing we would need to leave for Savannah in a moments notice.   I'm so thankful my son had the roommates he did, that realized that Ethan was having an emergency and had the knowledge to get help.  In this day and time, unfortunately that doesn't always happen.  I'm so thankful that my son had teachers that had a plan for emergencies and that they acted appropriately and quickly.  I truly believe that God has a well orchestrated plan for our lives.  I believe it was HIS grace and mercy that was at work Wednesday night into the wee hours of Thursday morning.  

I am heartbroken for my son that he didn't get to finish the trip he had looked forward to the whole school year.  But, I'm also thankful for grace and mercy that the situation was not any worse.  Again, it was God's hand at work in our lives.

My son has a follow up with his neurologist next week.  We pray for good results.  However, no matter the results, we know we are ALWAYS in the palm of His hand.

Lamentations 3:22-23

New International Version (NIV)
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness

Friday, September 13, 2013


 Now I see where my kids get it from.  Me.  They get it from me.  I hate to it admit it, but yes I procrastinate. I really meant to keep at least a week to week update on here about my lap band surgery.  Really I did.  Honestly.   Somehow I kept saying "in a little while"  or "I'll do it first thing in the morning"  or something similarly along those lines.  But, I'm here now and I'll try to do a little background leading up to today.

I think the last hoop I left you all with was waiting on insurance approval.  Actually, the approval went fairly quickly once I got the office staff to get all my paperwork in.  Getting those "procrastinators" in gear was one of biggest hurdles.  That, however, is not a story I wish to rehash for fear of getting my blood pressure to the boiling point again.  Once I got approval from insurance we were "go for launch" and I was ecstatic albeit a bit scared.

My surgery  was set for July 15, 2013 at 9a.m.  I had a preop class that I had to attend two weeks prior that left me with so much information my head was spinning.  I realized at that class that I was in no way prepared for this surgery.  I thought I had done so much research, but turns out I had only skimmed the surface.  It was mind blowing the amount of information but I was prepared to muddle my way through it all.

On the morning of July 15, 2013 we showed up at the hospital at 6 a.m.  I was taken care of by two wonderful nurses.  We had a bit of chit chat and they did so much to help alleviate my fears and assure me that I was making the right decision with this surgery.  As one of the nurses, Lauren, and I chatted, she asked where I worked etc.  As the discussion went on I asked her "did you know Lydia?"
(Lydia was my wonderful sister in law that we lost to malignant melanoma in 2000).  Lauren's face lost all color and she turned to look at my husband then back at me and said "I named my daughter after Lydia".  I thought Ken was going to lose it.  I thought I was going to lose it.  I thought she was going to lose it.  But, in that very moment a peace came over me.  A peace that I can not even describe in words.  I had prayed and prayed about this surgery.  Praying for God to take care of me during surgery.  Prayed for God to take care of the surgeon and the staff during my surgery.  Prayed for God to take care of my family should something happen to me during surgery.  Prayed for God to give me a sign that this, what I felt was my last resort, was the right thing.  I was so anxious, so fearful, so many emotions I can't even describe.  But, this one sentence out of Lauren's mouth gave me a peace. What are the chances of having her as my nurse, someone connected to someone I loved and miss so much, to be my nurse on the day I felt like was my last chance?  I believe that everything in our lives happens for a reason and a purpose.  I believe that our lives are a well orchestrated symphony of events and I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that God put Lauren in my life that day.  I knew then that it was all going to be okay.  Ken even said to me as Lauren left the room that it was a sign and he now had a peace he had not had until that very moment.  It still gets me teared up even now thinking of that moment.

Surgery went well.  I had a para esophageal  hernia that had to be repaired along with my lap band.  Ken said the surgeon came out to talk to him and said it was the worst he'd seen and he was shocked I was not hurting worse than I was and it would only have been a matter of time before I was very sick with it.  So PRAISE GOD I decided to have this lap band done or who knows what might have happened.

I felt great going home, was in moderate pain that night.  The next day, the nausea started.  I'm not going to lie there were about 4 days of so much nausea that I thought "what have I done" and "I want it out".  However, after an email to the dietitian who changed
my protein shakes and my vitamins and I was good to go.  I've felt fantastic since then.

This past Monday marked 8 weeks post op.  I am down 32 lbs since surgery and 57 lbs from my heaviest.  My clothes are baggy, I'm able to walk up my steps without taking 5 minutes to get my breath, and I feel like I've got a little pep in my step.  Thank you to everybody that has supported me on this journey so far.  It means the world to me that I have so many people that love and support me and I'm learning to love myself.

This is a whole new ballgame for this ballparkmom and I feel FANTASTIC!

March 8, 2010
September 8, 2013 

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

My new love affair

    I have a new love.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still in love with my husband, my kids, our life.  But, I have discovered a new love.  Well, two actually.  I'm in love with power tools and spray paint.  I've discovered the joys of both of these things over the summer.  I blame it on Pinterest.  Have I mentioned I'm also in love with Pinterest?

     I'll start by saying that I was really really jonesing for some new bedroom furniture.  Our current bedroom furniture Ken bought in 1989.  Everything about it screamed early 90's with the end of big hair and the beginning of boy bands.   I was needing something fresh, something new, something spa like, something without a price tag of  several thousand dollars.   Because let me tell you, being a ballpark mom does not allow one to go out and just plop down several thousand on a brand new bedroom suit and call it a day. No, no.  I mean I have batting lessons to pay for, pitching lessons to pay for, new bats, new cleats, new batting gloves and those all elusive Nike Elite socks at $15 a pair that my 13 year old covets so much.  Sigh.

     Anyway, moving along.  I had seen on Pinterest the joys of painting furniture and thought, why not?  How much could it hurt?  I mean the furniture is a mess anyway, I'll give it a go.   So, I went to Home Depot, got some gray spray paint and a little sandpaper and I was off to the races.  I decided to do the bedside table first because it was small and in the far corner.  And if I messed it up, it wouldn't show too much and I'd leave the rest of the furniture the way it was.   I also decided that I would "rough it up" a bit and give it a Pottery Barn kind of look.  Hey! might as well go for the gusto, right?  Well, whadda ya know?  I think it turned out beautiful!  It looked so good, I proceeded with the other pieces.   I did throw the huge hutch that went to the dresser out, no way to make that thing look more modern.  I'm so proud of my pieces.  I've much more practicing to do.  But, it gave me such a feeling of accomplishment and quite frankly I found it very therapeutic.  My "new" furniture cost me roughly $20 total.   I'm loving the whole set.

*all opinions in this blog are my own*